A Guy Named Leslie (A Billiam Buckingham Skit)
Billiam
"What's your name, there, chief?"
Job Interviewee
"Alex."
Billiam
"Sounds like a girl's name."
Job Interviewee
"It can go either--"
Billiam
"Must be one o' them sissies-whaddya call 'em?" (hitting pen
on desk, trying to think) "...oh, yeah, faggots."
Job Interviewee
"...What's your name?"
Billiam
"Leslie."
Job Interviewee
(Cracks up.)"Pfft...That's more of a girl's name than Alex."
Billiam
"It's called sarcasm. You ever heard of it?"
Job Interviewee
"Yeah."
Billiam
"Ha-I just used it right there, did ya catch that?"
Job Interviewee
"..."
Billiam
(Chews gum and stares at Alex.)
...
"No, actually my name's Billiam Furby."
Job Interviewee
(Cracks up again.)
Billiam
"You think that's funny, ya backdoor bandit? Huh, turd burglar?"
Job Interviewee
"'Furby'?...Like those toys?"
Billiam
"No."
Job Interviewee
"And 'Billiam'...what the fuck?"
Billiam
"Listen Alex...or should I call you 'FAG'...you don't have the right
to make fun of me."
Job Interviewee
"Why's that?"
Billiam
"Fucked your grandma last night."
Job Interviewee
(Pissed off.)"My grandma's dying of cancer."
Billiam
"I know that."
Job Interviewee
"You're a fucking asshole."
(Gets out of chair and starts walking to door.)
Billiam
(Pulls a furby®©™ out of desk and throws it like a football
at Alex.)