Analogy Friendly
Two
teenage boys are hanging out at a house. One is on the phone and invites
someone else over.
Teenage Boy #2: "Who
was that?"
Teenage Boy #1: "That
was Basil. Uh, have you ever met him?"
Teenage Boy #2: "No."
Teenage Boy #1: "Ah.
Yeah...he's kind of..." (does the femmy limp hand thing)
Teenage Boy #2: "...gay?"
Teenage Boy #1: "No...he's..."
(does the open mouth and groan thing)
Teenage Boy #2: "...homosexual...?"
Teenage Boy #1: "Yeah,
that's it. Just kidding, no, dude, he's like...analogy-friendly, you know?"
Teenage Boy #2: "What
do you mean?"
Teenage Boy #1: "He
overuses analogies...all the time."
Teenage Boy #2: "Oh!"
(The boy comes over.)
...
Basil: "Oh,
Thomas, your voice is like one thousand penises hitting my eardrums."
Teenage Boy #2 (Tom):
"Um, thanks."
Basil: "I was
just saying...you don't need to thank me...well, you can thank me later...Hey
have you guys seen Brokeback, it's like my daydreams..if my daydreams
deserved Oscars, ha you know what I'm saying?" (laughs hysterically)
(He makes several
other gay analogies. He gets up and goes to the kitchen to get some finger
food.)
Tom: "Dude,
are you SURE that guy's not gay?"
Teenage Boy #1: "I
don't know, we asked him once after he said his love for my dad was like
Romeo's for Juliet and he said he's about as gay as Clay Aiken wearing
a fisherman's hat, and we don't know what that means or who Clay Aiken
is."
END?