Basketball

(It is late night. Two guys are outside playing basketball in a driveway. They have high-powered lights, and a boom box playing an old 'Jock Jams' CD. They are really into it, with their pro gear, mouth guards and goggles/eye protection.)

("Let's Get Ready to Rumble" starts playing at an extremely loud volume.)

Male #1: (lots of spit in mouth) "C'mon, homie, I will back you in every time, you want some of this?"

Male #2: (stuffs ball) (laughs and dribbles away)

Male #1: "You can't take me son, you're done, son, you done."

Male #2: "You might as well go home...'cos you gonna get humiliated."

Male #1: "Save yourself the trouble and the embarrassment of losing your dignity. You're going down."

Male #2: "I'm going down...town, bitch." (shoots and makes a 3-pointer)

(A person comes out of the home they are playing at, dressed in pajamas and appearing as though he just woke up from hearing someone play basketball at his house.)

Homeowner: "What the heck are you guys doing out here? It's 2:30 A.M.! Get out of my driveway or I am calling the police!"

Male #2: "You want to challenge me to a game, bro? I'll back you into the hole every time, man. I'll take you to school." (dribbles)

Homeowner: "Me and my wife and my baby are trying to sleep!"

("Whoomp! There It Is" starts playing.)

(Male #2 boxes the homeowner out, thus pushing him into the middle of the driveway. The homeowner is forced into the middle of the game. The two players bump into him often, throw the ball at him as if he is going to catch it, and push him around.)

Male #1: "12-4, you're getting schooled, bitch. You might as well just go back home to your mommy, to spare any further humiliation."

Male #2: (to Homeowner) "Goddammit, will you at least put some effort forth. We're dying, and it's all 'cos of you."

Male #1: (to Homeowner) "I don't even know why you came out here tonight...you couldn't even beat a four-year-old."