Billiam Firing (A Billiam Buckingham Skit)
[The setup is that at an office, there
is a man (the boss) behind a desk in a suit chewing gum, 'Billiam', and
a man in a suit sitting across from him.]
(Billiam first tells his secretary to
call Brett into his office.)
Billiam
"Call Brett in here."
.........
Brett
"Yes, sir?"
Billiam
"Alright, you got that report done, chief?"
Brett
"No, but you never said tha-"
Billiam
"Listen, chief. Look, I need that report done."
Brett
"Well, I don't ha-"
Billiam
"Listen, 'Broseph', I need that report done right now."
Brett
"Well, I mean, it's not done right now."
Billiam
"Listen, chief. You're not listening. The report needs to be done
right now."
Brett
"Well, it's not."
Billiam
"No. I need it done right now."
Brett
"I didn't finish it. You never said-"
Billiam
"I'm saying it now. It needs to be finished right now."
Brett
"Do you want me to finish it up or-?"
Billiam
"No, because, look, it needs to be done right now. As in complete,
ended, finished, over with. You got that, chief?"
Brett
"Well, it's not, so...I'm sorry."
Billiam
"Listen, 'Broseph'. Let me cut to the chase, alright. Let's get to
the point. Look, alright. Listen. Look-."
(Camera shot goes back from one face to
the next.)
Brett
"Yes?"
Billiam
"I don't pay you to be a nigger, do I not?"
Brett
"What?!"
Billiam
"Do I need to spell everything out for you?"
Brett
"What-Well, are you saying that all black people are lazy?"
Billiam
"Oh my god. Jesus fucking Christ. Dave, did you hear that."
Dave (staring at Brett angrily)
(short pause) "Yeah."
Billiam
"As the great Donald Trump would say, 'You're fucking fired, shitbag'."
Dave (takes him outside)
"My dad was black...'til people like you killed him."
(punches Brett in his stomach)