(A father and his teenage son are sitting at table.)

Son
"What? I'm sorry, did you say something to me, I was eating my Cookie Crisp."

Father
(Throws box, rips comics page.)
"Goddammit, stop reading the god damn funnies and listen to me, boy!"

Son
"Jesus Christ!"

Father
"Goddammit, don't use the Lord's name in vain!"

Son
"What?! You just used God's name in vain!"

Father
(Flips over son's bowl of cereal.)
"Listen here, you pathetic piece of shit! God doesn't care, God doesn't even fucking care! But Jesus is a different story. Jesus is really fucking sensitive...he absolutely hates when people use his name in vain, he just doesn't understand why they can't use his name when praising him and praying to him and shit, instead of using it when angered, surprised, etc. You see, it all started a long, long time ago, when A.D., Attention Deficit, was called B.C., Bags of Carpet. The 'of' is silent in the abbreviation, as you can see."
(The father starts to talk about the Bible story, but it ends up turning into a really hardcore sex talk.)