(Man sitting at table, eating toast and looking at newspaper. All of a sudden, a door slams open.)

Male #1
(Jumps a little bit, doesn't look over)
Holy shit! That freaked me out!

Male #2
(Comes up to Male #1, grabs his shirt and starts shaking him)
You want some shit that'll freak you out fuck you up!?

Male #1
What?!? Who are you?! What are you doing in my house?!

Male #2
That's not the point, maaaaan! You want some shit that'll freak you out fuck you up! Yeah, I bet you do--you're a teenager!
(Starts reaching into jacket)

Male #1
Dude--what are you doing? I don't want any drugs!

Male #2
(Pulls out small book)
Drugs?! Yeah, I bet you want some of those. No son this is the good book. That's right, a bible. This shit'll fuck you up, man.

Male #1
Get out of my house, you fuckin' lunatic!

Male #2
You know what else'll fuck you up, man? Daylight fucking Savings Time, man! Try setting your clock back an hour one time, bro, that'll so fuck you up dude!

Male #2
Get the fuck out of here or I'm calling the po-lice!

Male #2
(Reaches over to Male #1's plate)
Here, just lemme have a bite of that toast, first...

Male #1
(Grabs toast, also)

(Both men fighting over toast)

Male #2
(Gets toast, holds it high in air)
I've got your toast I've got your toast!
(Holds toast between lips, runs away, slams into door)

(Door slams open after a little while.)

Male #2
(Calmly) Hey, what day is it, man?

Male #1
It's Sunday.

Male #2
No...like July? October?

Male #1
It's January.