Punk'd

There is a man sitting at a table, eating cereal. A lot of skits on Toxic Green start out this way. I don't know why. The man looks shocked/scared/bewildered/surprised, and then all of a sudden his eyes light up like he just figures something out.

Male #1: "Oh, man, I bet this is Punk'd, ain't it? I bet I'm getting Punk'd!

Male #2: "What did you just say, faggot?!?"

Male #1: "Uh..."

Male #2: "Do I look like Ashton Kutcher, bitch?!?

Male #1: "No, but usually he comes out after--"

Male #2: "--Do they do this on Punk'd, huh, pussy?!?" (He throws Male #1's cereal box against a door.)

Male #1: "They haven't yet, but maybe they would, I mean, they're pretty crazy over there at Punk'd..."

Male #2: "Would they do this on Punk'd, douchebag?!?" (He stomps the bag of cereal into little tiny bits of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.)

Male #1: "No, dude, no...I just bought that..."

Male #2: "Would they FUCKING do this on MTV's Punk'd, tool?!?" (He flips over the guys cereal bowl, the cereal and milk thus landing in Male #1's lappy-poo.)

Male #1: "Jesus Christ, what the fuck?!?"

Male #2: "Answer the question, queer!!!"

Male #1: "No. No, they wouldn't!!!"

Male #2: "Would they do this in the Sunday Stew, cunt?!?" (He empties the bag of cereal that he had just crushed all over Male #1.) "Would they do this Sundays at 10 following Viva la Bam, where Bam will upset his parents, much to the surprise of the viewers at home? Oh, that Bam, he's just too silly. You can't look away as Bam destroys his mom's old car, and then buys her a brand new one. Boy, will she be pissed, eh?"

Male #1: "No."

Male #2: (angered) "Would Ashton Kutcher do THIS, you piece of SHIT?!?" (He empties the contents of a glass of orange juice on Male #1.)

Male #1: (drenched) "No, he fucking wouldn't!"

(There is a closeup of Male #2's face. This last response set off something inside of Male #2. Slow piano music starts playing.)

Male #2: "You don't know Ashton, you can't make that assumption! You don't know Ashton, you don't know what it's like to be Ashton! I dare you to spend five minutes in his shoes! It's so hard being Ashton, his only stress reliver is PUNKing the shit out of his Hollywood celebrity friends, that's the only way he has a jolly good time, ever! Don't make assumptions about Ashton Kutcher! DON'T EVER MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ASHTON KUTCHER OR I'LL KILL YOU, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU HEAR ME?!?" (He is yelling right in Male #1's face.) "The Butterfly Effect, bitch! The Butterfly Effect!"